Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
