"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
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I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
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Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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