should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
