If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
