my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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