So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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