he told me I talked like a deaf person
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
