Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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