I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
