i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
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I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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