school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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