let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
