I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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