I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
