real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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