I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Holy sore nipples Batman
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
