she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
