i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
