I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
This is my gift to your gina
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
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