Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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