I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize