okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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