my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Mom said you looked used
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
