Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
