His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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