READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
