Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
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If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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