Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
