You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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