Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
