the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
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