Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
