I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
