I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize