now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
