I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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