i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
