do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
