He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
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CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
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body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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