I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think a kid would responsible me up
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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