Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You are a genius and a whore.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
