I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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