think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
