Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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