So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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