My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
