Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
