i permit you to call me
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
