It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You left your phone here
Wait...
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