dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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