walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
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Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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