I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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