I need help removing her.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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