What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
