im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
