my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
