The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
