Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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