No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
