he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
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I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
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im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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